In the torpid, barely-awake voiceover that opens "Bangkok Dangerous," Nicolas Cage's world-weary assassin sleepily intones his credo, which includes this rationalization: "The work is steady, the money's good ... but it's not for everyone."
That sums up Cage's current career, alright. And "Bangkok Dangerous" — a remake of a 1999 Thai thriller, directed, as this new one is, by Hong Kong filmmakers the Pang brothers — adds to the sad realization that this once-vibrant and witty actor is completely controlled now by his inner teenager. Now, that's not the teenager whose starring debut in 1983's "Valley Girl" still amuses. No, the teenager Cage seems to want to be is a metal-head videogame addict with dyed-black hair and a love for fast cars, easy thrills and cardboard heroes. If only this kid could crawl back into his parents' basement, we'd all be better off.
Cage's killer — "Joe," we're told his name is — roams the world from job to job, never interacting with others and getting paid loads to do his job fast, efficiently and anonymously. But arriving in Thailand, Joe incongruously takes a street grifter, Kong (Shahkrit Yamnarm), and turns him into his protege. Then he falls in love with a deaf salesgirl (Charlie Young), and, sure enough, his days as the guy who can wipe out strangers while cruising by on a motorbike or in a boat begin to end.
To its credit, "Bangkok Dangerous" does have an over-familiar but still eye-catching color scheme (gun-metal blue, with a candy-apple red final shoot-out), a luxurious score by Brian Tyler and, between bursts of violence, a contemplative mood. The problem is, there's really nothing to contemplate. Except perhaps that Joe and the deaf salesgirl are like a modern-day version of "City Lights" if the flower girl was an empty vessel of desire and Chaplin had chopped off guys' hands.
Actually, there are two other things to consider: Cage's embarrassing Alice Cooper hair and the trajectory of his fame. Of the former, all that can be said is it looks like it was ripped off a mannequin with the waxen scalp still attached. As for the latter, complaints have already been made many times, so here's a smattering of Cage's credits before his Oscar win for 1995's "Leaving Las Vegas": "The Cotton Club," "Birdy," "Raising Arizona," "Moonstruck," "Red Rock West," "It Could Happen to You." And here's a sampler of what came after: "The Rock," "Con Air," "Snake Eyes," "Gone in 60 Seconds," "Ghost Rider," "Next." And now, of course, this thing.
That sums up Cage's current career, alright. And "Bangkok Dangerous" — a remake of a 1999 Thai thriller, directed, as this new one is, by Hong Kong filmmakers the Pang brothers — adds to the sad realization that this once-vibrant and witty actor is completely controlled now by his inner teenager. Now, that's not the teenager whose starring debut in 1983's "Valley Girl" still amuses. No, the teenager Cage seems to want to be is a metal-head videogame addict with dyed-black hair and a love for fast cars, easy thrills and cardboard heroes. If only this kid could crawl back into his parents' basement, we'd all be better off.
Cage's killer — "Joe," we're told his name is — roams the world from job to job, never interacting with others and getting paid loads to do his job fast, efficiently and anonymously. But arriving in Thailand, Joe incongruously takes a street grifter, Kong (Shahkrit Yamnarm), and turns him into his protege. Then he falls in love with a deaf salesgirl (Charlie Young), and, sure enough, his days as the guy who can wipe out strangers while cruising by on a motorbike or in a boat begin to end.
To its credit, "Bangkok Dangerous" does have an over-familiar but still eye-catching color scheme (gun-metal blue, with a candy-apple red final shoot-out), a luxurious score by Brian Tyler and, between bursts of violence, a contemplative mood. The problem is, there's really nothing to contemplate. Except perhaps that Joe and the deaf salesgirl are like a modern-day version of "City Lights" if the flower girl was an empty vessel of desire and Chaplin had chopped off guys' hands.
Actually, there are two other things to consider: Cage's embarrassing Alice Cooper hair and the trajectory of his fame. Of the former, all that can be said is it looks like it was ripped off a mannequin with the waxen scalp still attached. As for the latter, complaints have already been made many times, so here's a smattering of Cage's credits before his Oscar win for 1995's "Leaving Las Vegas": "The Cotton Club," "Birdy," "Raising Arizona," "Moonstruck," "Red Rock West," "It Could Happen to You." And here's a sampler of what came after: "The Rock," "Con Air," "Snake Eyes," "Gone in 60 Seconds," "Ghost Rider," "Next." And now, of course, this thing.
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